Uncomfortable

So...yeah. last night at home=total fail.

I was planning on going out to dinner with the family then go to sleep and leave in the morning. like I always do. nope, not this time.

They picked me up from Outback because I was there saying goodbye to everyone, which I hate doing. We drove to Champps and everything was FINE. Something happened with the host, who by the way, was like kinda slow and weird. so I understand where my mom was coming from but she was just really rude to her. and like made ugly faces. which she really doesnt realize she is doing, so I just made sure she knew what was going on..

she flipped out. I was "being rude and had been this whole trip, even my father agreed. and I shouldnt tell my mom what to do because I am the child and it's not my place. blah blah blah."

yeah so I got up from the table and left. in tears. I just didnt want to be there anymore and sit there. absolutely uncomfortable beyond belief. so I decided to leave.

mom came out and talked to me..RUDE.

dad came out and talked to me and made me come back in and half-ass apologize. yeah not so fun. mom didnt take it seriously whatsoever.

awkward car ride home. just awkward everything. so as soon as I got home I packed up the rest of my car and got ready to head back to school.. they really didnt want me leaving because they didnt think it was safe enough for me to drive but I just had to get out of that house. if I would have stayed, it just would have not been fun at all. and so awkward.

so I left. cried. cried some more. yeah.. got here and went straight to Lucy's house and we talked forever. and it made me feel SOOO much better. you have no idea. I love her and my whole Phi Mu family in general. they are absolutely amazing. and I couldnt be happier! so then came back here. homegirl was being a bitch. didnt say anything really.

now its wierd. whatever. but I'll be gone soon, no worries. and then shes SOL.

yeahhh lovin thattt!

so today is my day to relax and unwind. take it easy. be happy again. oh man...

With Love

Ask?

So I am a LITTLE frustrated right now. I mean, I have every reason to though, sooo..

Thomas, the new beau, was supposed to come to Roswell today to meet the fam and just hang out with me and stuff. Yeah, so I didn't really wait for him because I did go and do my own thing, but at the same time, I was like expecting him as was mom and dad. So come like 7pm rolls around he finally decides to text me and really, honestly thinks I am ok. Are you kidding me? I was so not ok. I just wanted to cry and I was so upset about it. Tried to play it off though. He didn't really respond first, then he realized I was pissed. He apologized but it still doesn't make it any better. Like I am still kinda upset.

I feel weird right now. Like I really like him, but I just don't know what to do or how our relationship is going. Like it's just kinda there. Like we aren't official yet, but I know we should be. or will be soon. I dont know. I am confused. And I don't wanna ask him because I don't wanna be like awkward or trying to be controlling or "crazy." ya know. so I am trying to be patient and not worry about it, but it is SO hard. SOOO hard. We'll see.

School is good. Grades are good. Phi Mu is good. I still wish school was in Roswell, but it's getting better. Like I am sorta wanting to go back right now, which is weird. I am like bored here. Which shocks me.

Anyway, I will update sooner than later.

With Love

home sweet home

HOME. for Thanksgiving break. finally.

will update later.

With Love