Ahhhh...

CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY DAYS.

Uncomfortable

So...yeah. last night at home=total fail.

I was planning on going out to dinner with the family then go to sleep and leave in the morning. like I always do. nope, not this time.

They picked me up from Outback because I was there saying goodbye to everyone, which I hate doing. We drove to Champps and everything was FINE. Something happened with the host, who by the way, was like kinda slow and weird. so I understand where my mom was coming from but she was just really rude to her. and like made ugly faces. which she really doesnt realize she is doing, so I just made sure she knew what was going on..

she flipped out. I was "being rude and had been this whole trip, even my father agreed. and I shouldnt tell my mom what to do because I am the child and it's not my place. blah blah blah."

yeah so I got up from the table and left. in tears. I just didnt want to be there anymore and sit there. absolutely uncomfortable beyond belief. so I decided to leave.

mom came out and talked to me..RUDE.

dad came out and talked to me and made me come back in and half-ass apologize. yeah not so fun. mom didnt take it seriously whatsoever.

awkward car ride home. just awkward everything. so as soon as I got home I packed up the rest of my car and got ready to head back to school.. they really didnt want me leaving because they didnt think it was safe enough for me to drive but I just had to get out of that house. if I would have stayed, it just would have not been fun at all. and so awkward.

so I left. cried. cried some more. yeah.. got here and went straight to Lucy's house and we talked forever. and it made me feel SOOO much better. you have no idea. I love her and my whole Phi Mu family in general. they are absolutely amazing. and I couldnt be happier! so then came back here. homegirl was being a bitch. didnt say anything really.

now its wierd. whatever. but I'll be gone soon, no worries. and then shes SOL.

yeahhh lovin thattt!

so today is my day to relax and unwind. take it easy. be happy again. oh man...

With Love

Ask?

So I am a LITTLE frustrated right now. I mean, I have every reason to though, sooo..

Thomas, the new beau, was supposed to come to Roswell today to meet the fam and just hang out with me and stuff. Yeah, so I didn't really wait for him because I did go and do my own thing, but at the same time, I was like expecting him as was mom and dad. So come like 7pm rolls around he finally decides to text me and really, honestly thinks I am ok. Are you kidding me? I was so not ok. I just wanted to cry and I was so upset about it. Tried to play it off though. He didn't really respond first, then he realized I was pissed. He apologized but it still doesn't make it any better. Like I am still kinda upset.

I feel weird right now. Like I really like him, but I just don't know what to do or how our relationship is going. Like it's just kinda there. Like we aren't official yet, but I know we should be. or will be soon. I dont know. I am confused. And I don't wanna ask him because I don't wanna be like awkward or trying to be controlling or "crazy." ya know. so I am trying to be patient and not worry about it, but it is SO hard. SOOO hard. We'll see.

School is good. Grades are good. Phi Mu is good. I still wish school was in Roswell, but it's getting better. Like I am sorta wanting to go back right now, which is weird. I am like bored here. Which shocks me.

Anyway, I will update sooner than later.

With Love

home sweet home

HOME. for Thanksgiving break. finally.

will update later.

With Love

Sleeeeep

Cant sleep! I will be driving down to Mercer today!

Move in to college! start my new life..

goodbyes tonight were too hard. I dont know how I am going to deal with this...I love all my friends so much and really didnt want to have to say goodbye this soon...

I will miss them so much!

With Love

2.

Ahhhh..This all feels so surreal!

I have 2 days left in Roswell, Ga.

2 days to say all my goodbyes.

2 days to prepare myself for the best years of my life.

2 days to convince myself this isn't a dream.

2 days to be ready, because ready or not, here it all comes.

crazy.

well I went for my check up with Dr. Steele. we have our love-hate relationship, but whatever! Umm..I found out that I am positive for anemia. very positive. for my age, it should be between 12-16% for hemoglobin count. mine was 9.7%. she said that if it was anywhere near 6%, I would have been admitted to the hospital. That was another one of those frightening moments in my life. goodness. So I got bloodwork done and we're gonna find out where it is coming from or what is causing it. Basically, my Iron levels are low. Which I believe is from lack of Iron intake. almost positive. I need to work on that. We talked about my ED. I need to fix it. Ive got the weight and everything under control now just need to work on my mindset. Which theres counseling at college and possibly thinking about going to that. maybe it will help me out! we'll see how I feel about that later.

I am going to have a sleepover with taylor and jessica and nathan tonight with jersey shore! ahh..our last one :( thats so depressing. jeez..it scares me so much!

I hope that I am ok to say goodbye to them. they really have been there for me no matter what these past couple months and I cannot thank them enough! its been a crazy ride! well worth it though!

I am gonna miss everyone so much! But Ive been talking to this girl, Elizabeth Cope, who is going to Mercer as well. She is super nice! and she i already down there and absolutely LOVIN it! so I cannot wait!

everythings pretty much packed. I am kinda scared to leave but I really think Im going to love it! we'll see..

With Love

too early...

first of all its 9:41 AM. and its too early for me to be awake. I got like NO sleep last night, becuase Nick is leaving today. and that is just too much for me to be able to sleep. Hes been my best friend these past four years and no matter how long we went without talking, we can pick right back where we left off and be completely fine. Our relationship is amazing! and I cannot describe it in words. I am very upset he is leaving, especially so early. but he is going to Valdosta and he's going to have so much fun! As long as he makes good and healthy decisions. I am going to miss him so much, but being neighbors and all, I think we will see each other more than we think. plus, I am hoping to go down there to valdosta and stay with him for a night or something. I think that would be fun and plus its a night away from Mercer.

Well, here I go, off to say goodbye to another friend. I breaks my heart, but we were all meant to go our separate ways sometime..

With Love